I wanted to write a few words because of a news story I saw. In short: a woman from the Xihaigu region, from a poor family, graduated from a 211 university in Beijing. You can imagine what a sensation it must have been in her village when she was admitted. After graduation, she spent her years until thirty-three preparing for civil service exams, never once working, supported by money her parents borrowed. She passed the written portion multiple times with top scores but never made it through the interviews. Recently, she was found dead in her rented room—reportedly from starvation—her body undiscovered for more than twenty days.
Now, any way we discuss this woman is crude. I once talked with a friend about my fear of plane crashes—because I might die in a situation where everything is left for others to discuss, and where discussion is inevitable. That is what I mean by crude. Every fear creates a prison. This particular fear creates a prison in which we hide ourselves, trying to avoid being discussed by others.
For me, we should live within real life, not outside of it. We may die in any manner, and find ourselves in circumstances we might not like. But we should not die in a prison of our own imagined making. Because within such a prison, there is no real meaning.
There was a man who was once the nightmare of Chinese men—women demanded his products from their men: "I just got the iPhone 5, now I want the Plus." Remember that song?
That man was Steve Jobs. He gave a famous commencement speech at Stanford University. In that speech, he told his story—he was adopted, and his biological mother had made his adoptive parents promise to send him to college. You see, Americans aren't so different from us in this way. After high school he went to Reed College. In his speech he said: "I couldn't see the value in spending all of my parents' savings on it." So he dropped out and went to figure things out on his own.
I think Jobs offered a very clear, very direct narrative. Things should simply be that way. Just like all his great contributions to the world.
You need to know what things are. Things are what they are, not something else. To know what things are requires common sense—common sense is what you truly believe, deep in your heart. Of course, you also need courage. You need fearlessness. You need to live the life that common sense and your heart lead you toward, not the life that fear and received ideas steer you into.
If I were to say this woman should not have kept studying for civil service exams, that she should have stepped out of her room and made a living, taken any action—I would certainly sound crude. But that's probably how things are.
So what exactly creates such a prison? Of course, most prisons are ultimately ones we build and lock ourselves into. What I used to say about society a decade ago versus what things look like today—I've clearly self-censored. But before we build a prison and lock ourselves in, what is it that crudely crushes our spirits, suppresses our courage, strips away our choices, and creates a singular, snobbish, anti-human environment?
There must be something. But friends, let us remember not to lock ourselves inside prisons of our own construction—at the very least, not entirely. I've read some books, obscure ones, that say all people are created equal, and that human rights are innate. You are yourself even if you are nothing and need not be anything, and you have every right to be yourself and live your own life. Let us bravely face reality and live an authentic life of our own.